Sad, funny, and all too true:
Being a subscriber to Borders’ e-mails, the only way to get a hold of
those coupons, I’m privy to these attempts and all their overzealous
subject lines, which seemed to culminate in a rather startling offer
with this morning’s e-mail. In chronological order, here’s a selection
of how it’s gone over the past few weeks. These are merely the subject
lines of the e-mails:
December 27: WATCH ALL WEEK! 2-Day Deals — Deal #2: 50% off bestsellers
December 31: 50% OFF ANY ITEM! Don’t Miss the Last of Our 2-Day Deals!
January 3: Ring in the New Year with Big Books & BIG SAVINGS!
January 6: $10 in BONUS Borders Bucks — Limited Time Only!
January 6: Eat This, Not That — Shop Here, Not There… And SAVE! [Two e-mails in one day…things are getting serious.]
January 10: 500 Million People Like This [Not Borders, of course — Facebook. This was a Facebook-themed e-mail tied to the release of The Social Network on DVD. Clever.]
January 13: WOW! A Wireless eReader Under $100 — 4 Days Only!
January 20: 4 DAYS LEFT! A Wireless eReader Under $100 [Wasn’t that deal over on January 17?]
January 21: Snowed In? SAVE UP TO 46% at Borders.com [Winter-themed e-mails!]
January 24: Don’t Miss the Book BOGO: Buy 1, Get 1 50% Off
January 27: MUAH! Be My Valentine — Gift Ideas & SAVINGS! [Gross, Borders]
January 31: FREE SHIPPING — No Minimum Purchase! Stop Shoveling, Start Shopping!
February 3: Life Is Good with FREE SHIPPING & Ultimate Mochas! [What?]
February 7: Dare to Compare! Kobo Wireless eReader Now
$99.99 Every Day! [Oh, so that deal is on for four consecutive days,
February 9: 6 Hand-Selected Wines for $6.99 Each — Plus a Free Gift [?!?!?!]